The Weight of Perfection: Lightening Up
by:
Judy Ringer
Preparing for an out of the ordinary training, I had worried myself into a state of anxiety I hadn't experienced in quite a while. Thank goodness my husband Jim noticed and asked me: "If you didn't feel you had to be perfect, weren't preoccupied with flawlessness or being wonderful enough, would you enjoy your work more?"
And the answer was, of course, I'd derive much more enjoyment from the whole delightful process.
This discussion brought to mind Thomas Crum's Perfection/Discovery model. Tom is a dear friend and the author of many wonderful books and tapes on centering, like The Magic of Conflict, Journey to Center, and Three Deep Breaths.
In Tom's model, perfection is all about being right or looking good, often at the expense of other more important factors, like the relationship or solving the problem, and sometimes to the detriment of my own well-being. I'm more interested in whether I measure up than in the purpose behind my actions. While there may be external judges, the one inside my head usually carries the most weight.
Discovery is a lighter place. I'm present, connected to purpose, and moving in a useful direction. Sudden changes or unanticipated outcomes become an invitation to see something new. I'm more spontaneous, playful, and fascinated with life.
When I need to be perfect, I second-guess myself at every turn. The inner critic stifles free flow, and I gradually lose connection with my purpose. In a presentation setting, this can be deadly. Perfection's not a fun place to be.
The key is to take a Discovery Pill. "If only it were that easy," you say. Well, it kind of is. If you've read my book Unlikely Teachers, you know the story about the "Lucky Baby Planet," when Jim and I transformed a difficult situation into a lovely evening by changing the way we thought about it.
All it takes to move from Perfection to Discovery is to notice yourself trying too hard, criticizing too much, or just not having fun. As soon as you notice, you can smile, regain the present moment, and watch as you move from anxiety to fascination; from frustration to curiosity; from the weight of Perfection into the lightness of Discovery.
The need to be perfect and control everything keeps the Universe from coming to my aid and from magically stepping in with the unimagined manifestation of true perfection.
So, the moral of the story is, it's up to you. Take a moment now to jump into Discovery and lighten up, live, and laugh at it all.
About the Author:
Judy Ringer is the author of Unlikely Teachers: Finding the Hidden Gifts in Daily Conflict and the award-winning e-zine, Ki Moments. Judy is a nationally known presenter, specializing in unique workshops on conflict, communication, and creating a positive work environment. She is the founder of Power & Presence Training and chief instructor of Portsmouth Aikido, Portsmouth, NH, USA. To sign up for more free tips and articles like these, visit
http://www.JudyRinger.com
No. of Times this article has been viewed :
547
Date Published :
May 15 2008
Most Recently Published Crisis Management Articles as of
|
|
Jan 20 2010
What Good is a Plan No One Knows About
by
Jonathan Bernstein
The classic and all-too-common mistake on the part of the governmental official is that MOST of the people who will be impacted by the plan HAVE NO ADVANCE IDEA of how it will affect them.
|
Jan 20 2010
How To Manage Citizen Concern
by
Jonathan Bernstein
The following case history is an amalgam of real-life situations with which I've been acquainted. The object is to demonstrate the "wrong way" and the "right way" to manage citizen concern about a corporate mistake.
|
Jan 20 2010
Making Amends
by
Jonathan Bernstein
When handling a crisis, making a public amends can mean all the difference between success and failure.
|
Jan 17 2010
Ignoring Wall Street Rumors
by
Jonathan Bernstein
The power of rumors to cause crises should never be underestimated. This case history, taken from my own experiences as a professional crisis manager, provides an example of an organization that got it all wrong.
|
Jan 17 2010
Mystery Shopping to Prevent Crises
by
Jonathan Bernstein
Businesses that are highly focused on customer service have long employed people to secretly shop as if they were actual customers or clients, and then report their perceptions to management. This can then be used to prevent potential crises long before they occur.
|
Jan 17 2010
The H1N1 Effect
by
Jonathan Bernstein
When faced with perceived health risks, consumers make purchasing decisions about a given product based on fear, conjecture and media hype versus the facts concerning the actual risk. How can you prevent this effect from harming your business? Read on!
|
Jan 14 2010
Acquisition - A Good News Crisis
by
Jonathan Bernstein
A very typical crisis with which both bad and good news can be associated is a large business acquisition/merger/takeover. How well it's handled, from a crisis/issues management perspective, can make that "decisive difference for better or worse."
|
Jan 14 2010
Making a Crisis Worse - The Biggest Mistakes in Crisis Communications
by
Jonathan Bernstein
All businesses are vulnerable to crises. You can't serve any population without being subjected to situations involving lawsuits, accusations of impropriety, sudden changes in company ownership or management and other volatile situations.
|
Jan 14 2010
Prevent Crises by Protecting Your Mobile Device
by
Jonathan Bernstein
Mobile device security is often overlooked, and can easily lead to crisis. Is your organization opening itself up to crisis by not protecting information on cell phones and PDA's?
|
Jan 13 2010
Crisis Management Measures - Reduce Risks and Prevent Crisis
by
BMA Editorial Team A
Crisis management measures are important in any kind of business. This is because they are considered as the backbone of any business management program.
|
Jan 11 2010
Toxic Mold Crisis Management
by
Jonathan Bernstein
Almost anyone responsible for building or maintaining a structure could be vulnerable to allegations of negligence in regards to mold prevention or treatment. If you fall into this category, now is the time to prepare your crisis management strategy.
|
Jan 8 2010
Plan for the Emerging Workforce Crisis
by
BMA Editorial Team A
Do you have a plan for the emerging workforce crisis? This article will provide you with information that can help your managers and business leaders develop a strategy for recruiting, hiring and retaining top performing employees.
|
Dec 31 2009
Is a Crisis Management Company Necessary?
by
BMA Editorial Team A
The use of an effective crisis management company will cost money, as with most services, but the cost for hiring the company will be significantly less than the cost for the business should a crisis happen.
|
Dec 30 2009
Does A Small Business Really Need Crisis Management Plans
by
BMA Editorial Team A
Having crisis management plans in place for any type of business is paramount to their longevity, as by always preparing for the worst case scenario, you can ensure that should a crisis happen, you a fully prepared to carry on with your business in one way or another.
|
Dec 4 2009
Managing Your Emotions after a Layoff
by
Julie Fuimano
An article of 1072 words offering coaching tips and describing the three phases and corresponding emotions to expect after a layoff
|
|
Search for ebooks on Management & Business